It has been a LONG time since I have given an update – not only on where we are in foster-land, but also where we are in life in general. The last 3 months have been a bit of a whirlwind here in the Ellis household. So let’s start at the beginning…
As some of you were already aware, we had been catching up on all of our foster certification goodness back in the Fall and were planning to be placed back on the “on-call” list starting the first week of January. That basically means that after you are on that list, you can get a call at ANY time, day or night for a child who needs a temporary (or in some cases, permanent) home. When you get the call, that isn’t a “get prepared” call… it’s a “we’re headed your way in a couple of hours” kind of call. Things in your life change super fast. LIGHTNING fast. That is what we were preparing for. Then God decided to throw us this curveball…
Not in our plans at all. Not even on the radar. In fact, we were preventing it… or so we thought. BUT what an amazing, exciting, wonderful unplanned surprise it was!
We found out that I was pregnant just two weeks before Christmas, so we were more than thrilled that we would be able to tell all of our family in person over the holidays.
Somehow, I was able to keep my mouth shut for the full two weeks, and everyone was in complete shock… in the best way possible, of course. We all celebrated and were super excited that God decided to surprise us all in this way.
After a lot of thought, Philip and I decided that it might be best to go ahead and put a hold on all of our foster care stuff. After all, most of the kids who come into care NEED your FULL attention. They have been through something traumatic and painful, and I didn’t feel as though I would be able to give them all of me while dealing with morning sickness and a 2-year-old running around. So, things were put on hold.
After the holidays, we came back and tried to wrap our heads around our new reality. We decided to tell close friends about our news, but thought it would be best to wait to spread it to the social media world.
Just three weeks ago (when I was 9 weeks pregnant), I decided to give my doctor a call because I thought I might have an infection. Nothing serious, so Philip stayed home with Caleb while I went to the doctor. I went in, and of course everything was fine. I didn’t have an infection. But since I was there, they decided to go ahead and check on the baby’s heartbeat. There was nothing. No heartbeat. We lost the baby.
All I could think was, I need Philip here… and then I lost it.
There had been no signs. I felt good. No bleeding. No cramping. I felt pregnant. I was hungry all the time. I felt nauseous. Everything seemed fine.
Philip was able to leave Caleb with our sister-in-law and meet me up at the doctor’s office. We were obviously sad, but we also knew right away that this was no surprise to God. He gave us this wonderful gift for two whole months, and we are so grateful for that. We know that God has a purpose in all of this. He sees the big picture, while we only see today. We may never fully know his purpose for this, but we have already seen so many little things here and there that prove he has a reason.
To be completely honest, this process has not been easy, or short for that matter. Heart wise, we are good. We trust God completely. Physically however, has been much more frustrating. I won’t go in to details for obvious reasons, but after waiting three weeks for something to happen, I ended up having to have surgery on Thursday. No bueno. I still have a week or so of this process left, but we are thankful for some type of closure, however sad that may be.
The Silver Lining: Through this process we have grown and have decided to move forward with foster care in the next month or so. We are extremely excited and know more than ever that this is what God is calling us to. Thank you SO much for your prayers. We appreciate them more than you know.
Philip has said that he would like to share about his feelings and thoughts through all of this… so I will be posting that in the next few days if anyone is interested in reading.